I’m not really in a very good place right now…

So, with that in mind, I apologize for the stream-of-consciousness that is about to come spilling out right now but I need to write it down somewhere so I can get it out of my system and move forward.

I talked to my mom tonight about her situation and it’s getting a bit grim, with a (hopefully) silver lining.

After talking with her doctor and specialists at the Univ. of Washington Hutchinson Cancer Center in Seattle, she’s going to be going through some very harrowing treatment over the next few months.

They’re going to extract stem cells from her since she’s currently in remission and then give her chemotherapy to destroy all of her bone marrow. Once the marrow has been destroyed and starts to re-grow, they’re going to re-introduce the extracted stem cells to her system to help it produce healthy cancer-free white blood cells.

That might not sound so bad when you just read it, but it’s bad. She’ll basically be in isolation, boy-in-the-bubble style, for three to four weeks while she’s without marrow/infection-fighting white blood cells. As a bonus, it’ll be during Christmas so she and dad won’t be going to Hawaii after all. Fuck.

On top of that, it’s not like she’ll just be able to walk out of isolation and resume her normal life afterward, she’s going to be very susceptible to infection and disease for months after that. All told, she’s looking at six months of little-to-no contact with anyone.

All she wanted to do was see my daughters before she started treatment, but can’t risk getting sick now.

I’m in a really bad place. She told me tonight that this treatment should add another five years to her life. Should. Should.

All she kept asking me is if I was OK.

I don’t know what else to say, so I’m done for now.

Done.

Posted on November 13, 2008, 21:26 By
3 comments Categories: family

3 thoughts on “I’m not really in a very good place right now…

  1. WOW! I am totally touched by your candid openness. I am glad you had this forum to get all of that out. I am saying a prayer for you and your mom as I type this. Since I just stumbled on your blog, I don’t know if you believe in the power of prayer or not, but I do. I hope you feel a peace tonight and your Mom feels comforted and cared for. I already know she knows she has a great son.

  2. Ted I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know it’s easier said than done but try and stay positive. Maybe you can video chat with her so she can see the girls over the holidays. Or make a special DVD for her to watch of you and the family. I know it’s rough, especially around the holidays. My thoughts and prayers are with you and if you need ANYTHING, just ask. It’s good that you got this off your chest. Even if it’s just on your blog, it is better to let it out then hold it in.

  3. Ted I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to remain positive. Maybe you can do a video chat with your mom over the holidays. Or, you can make her a special DVD to watch of you and the family. Dealing with something like this is tough, let alone around the holidays. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am glad you have a blog to get this off your chest though. It is not healthy to hold something like this in. If you need ANYTHING, just let us know. We are there for you Ted.

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